A simple bottle of hand sanitizer turned into a workplace argument over empathy, boundaries, and whether a child should “just get used to it.”
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
The writer works at an after-school program and interacts regularly with a young girl who has sensory sensitivities. The school requires kids to use hand sanitizer, but the standard type bothers this child — the smell and texture trigger discomfort and distress.
One day, when she was melting down, the writer let her use a watermelon-scented Touchland sanitizer instead. It helped — and from then on, the child knew she had a safe alternative.
The Moment Things Shifted
On a later day, the girl politely asked if she could use the same sanitizer again. The writer said yes — but a coworker shut it down immediately.
The coworker insisted she use the school’s sanitizer and told the girl, “I don’t care.” The reasoning?
She needed to “learn she can’t always get what she wants.”
The Final Confrontation
The writer tried to quietly advocate for the child, explaining that the sanitizer caused sensory distress — not a preference issue.
But the coworker doubled down, telling the writer not to allow exceptions because it would make other kids want it too, and because “life doesn’t cater to preferences.”
The Fallout
The writer now feels stuck — torn between accommodating a child’s legitimate sensory needs and maintaining workplace consistency.
She worries her own neurodivergence might make her overly empathetic — and asks the internet:
Was I wrong for letting her use my sanitizer?
What Reddit Thinks
This story would likely get NTA (Not The A●●hole) from most commenters.
Sample realistic responses:
💬 “This wasn’t a power struggle — it was a sensory accommodation. You weren’t spoiling her, you were supporting her.”
💬 “Your coworker isn’t trying to teach resilience — she’s just being dismissive. The kid wasn’t demanding luxury, she was avoiding distress.”
💬 “If other kids want it, then explain WHY she uses it. Kids understand fairness doesn’t mean identical treatment.”
Some might note workplace policy concerns, but empathy wins in most eyes.
A Final Thought
In schools, does “treating everyone the same” really teach fairness — or does recognizing individual needs teach compassion?