When his wife overpacked their SUV for the millionth time and made them miss a work event, he snapped—now their marriage might be over.
Let’s break it down
The backstory and early dynamics
He’s 36, she’s 38. Married for 8 years, parents to a toddler. They live in Arkansas but every year, she insists they drive across the country to her hometown in San Diego.
Flying was fine when it was just the two of them, but now that they have a 2-year-old, driving has become the only option—for her.
She always overpacks. Used to be the Mazda CX-7, now even a Suburban can’t hold it all. We’re talking front passenger seat piled so high he can’t see the mirrors.
And she never uses most of what she brings.
The moment things shifted
This wasn’t just another family road trip. He was invited to a work conference at a fancy resort—a rare break, something he looked forward to.
Originally, the plan was for just the two of them. But the night before they left, she canceled his mom as the babysitter and insisted their toddler come too. And yes—she overpacked again. Towels, blankets, multiple totes of clothes.
The car was jammed. The hotel was chaos. And they were three hours late to leave—meaning he missed the most important networking event of the conference.
The final confrontation
Frustrated and disappointed, he finally said it:
“You make traveling miserable.”
He mentioned the overpacking, the lateness, the stress. That he couldn’t see out the mirrors. That the hotel room was always cluttered and unmanageable.
She exploded. Accused him of wanting to cheat at the conference. Said she was filing for divorce.
The fallout
He’s emotionally exhausted and starting to think he’s done with relationships altogether.
He insists he’s a hands-on dad and packed efficiently for the child himself. His wife has ADHD and a hoarder family background, which he’s tried to be patient with for years—but nothing has changed.
And now, after simply telling her the truth—he might lose his marriage.
What Reddit Thinks
Verdict: Not the A-hole (NTA)
Reddit would likely side with him—most commenters understand the limits of patience when a partner continually creates stress.
Sample reactions:
“NTA. You invited her, planned ahead, and just asked for reasonable space and time. This is not on you.”
“As someone with ADHD, I feel for her—but that doesn’t mean she gets a free pass to destroy your mental health.”
“She’s gaslighting you with the cheating accusations to avoid accountability. This sounds emotionally draining.”
A Final Thought
How much patience is too much when your partner’s behavior never changes—no matter how kind or honest you try to be?