How Being in Therapy Can Help You Find True Love

Today’s dating scene is not for the faint-hearted, especially finding love on dating sites. There is a secret language that not everybody knows and a dearth of confusing messages where meaningful messages get lost easily.

So, if you’re tired of swiping left and right, hoping to land on a good match, there might be another tool you haven’t thought of yet – therapy. Yes, therapy is a tool many don’t associate with dating success, but it can be instrumental in how you approach dates and who you end up with.

Over the years, therapy has earned its rightful reputation as a healthy practice, especially among young adults. So much so that many individuals on dating sites find people who have “in therapy” clearly stated in their bio, more desirable. And why shouldn’t they? Therapy is a life-changing experience that equips you with the skills to live better. Not convinced? Let us challenge that with these fact-backed reasons:

1.  Resolve issues from past relationships:

Our body can hold onto years of trauma without us realizing the weight we’re carrying till it starts to seep into our present lives. It also impacts our dating lives, badly. Here, therapy can be a great starting point to help you work through past relationship issues.

Healing from past heartbreaks is the only path to a more liberating life. Wonderfully, it also prepares you for a healthy relationship by leaving behind any guilt, trauma, or pent-up emotions from your past relationships.

By addressing and resolving past baggage, you can approach online dating with a clearer perspective, open yourself to new possibilities, and build stronger, more fulfilling connections.

2.  Understand your attachment style:

You must’ve heard this term tossed around in videos about “dating advice.” While the context and advice might be questionable, the term “attachment style” holds significant value. According to professionals, attachment styles can be formed as early as when you were a baby based on how love and care were shown to you in your immediate environment.

There is no “good” or “bad” attachment style to clear the misconceptions. This is why it is vital to talk to a trained therapist who can identify your attachment style (secure, anxious, avoidant, etc.) and help you understand how to approach relationships healthily.

3.  Identify your “Dating Deal Breakers”:

Given modern dating sites’ ease of use, many people dive into swiping before reflecting on what they’re actually seeking. Take a therapist’s word: this is a big mistake!

You’re walking towards a dating disaster if you don’t define what’s truly important in a potential partner. You don’t want to end up settling for less than you deserve, do you? Know that there’s no “out of your league” when you’ve done the work to better yourself and find someone who shows up just as authentically.

Working with a therapist who specializes in dating will aid in identifying your core values, dealbreakers, and long-term relationship goals. This self-awareness allows you to create a more targeted online dating profile that attracts compatible matches and avoids wasting time on incompatible connections.

4.  Overcome your unhealthy traits:

Like attachment styles, many of us also have some unhealthy patterns & traits that can cost us a meaningful relationship. Most commonly known as limiting self-beliefs, these traits can be a serious deal-breaker for your ideal partner. So, why not overcome them with a specialist?

A therapist can provide you with tools to recognize and challenge the limiting beliefs that hinder your ability to form healthy connections. When you learn to identify the triggers, you are better equipped to redirect your mind to a healthier approach to dealing with those intrusive thoughts.

5.  Learn how to establish healthy boundaries:

What you learn in therapy will show you what healthy and unhealthy traits look like – both in you and your other interpersonal relationships. So, use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries beyond romantic situations.

There may be instances when you need to practice this with your friends or family members. Do it. Your therapist will be proud of you. Even in dating, you may not feel the spark with most people you meet. Learn to say “no” and set clear boundaries, fostering healthier and more respectful interactions with potential partners and other connections in your life.

Become a better you, for you.

To attract and connect with authentic people on dating sites and in real life, one must be genuine in their approach from the beginning. Here, accountability and self-evaluation aided by a professional can play a huge role.  Why fear the couch, then? Get comfortable and slowly, but eventually, you’ll uncover tools to empower you on your online dating journey. This can look like better communication, identifying what red flags mean for you, how to set healthy boundaries and more. Go find your Freud!