When my dad cheated, I cut him off — now he wants me to play big brother to the baby he made.
Let’s break it down
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
I (20M) was in college when everything fell apart back home. My mom found out my dad was cheating — not just a fling, but a full-blown affair with his friend’s sister. To make things worse, she was pregnant with his baby.
My mom wasted no time. She kicked him out and filed for divorce. When I got the call from her, I was shocked, but not conflicted. I didn’t need time to “process” — I knew instantly I wanted nothing to do with him. I told him he was disgusting and that I didn’t want any more contact. I blocked his number and went back to living my life.
Even after the baby was born, I didn’t feel anything change in me. Not guilt. Not curiosity. Just anger and disgust.
The Moment Things Shifted
The real problem wasn’t just the cheating — it was how he handled everything afterward. Even after the divorce was finalized, my dad kept harassing my mom.
He showed up to her job and even at her house — with the baby in his arms — saying we could still be a family, “just with one extra kid.” That made my blood boil. My mom was stressed, and I hated him more for putting her through that.
He didn’t even have social media before, but suddenly, I started getting messages from a new account he made — asking me to have a relationship with him and the baby. I replied with a simple “F*** off,” then blocked him.
But he wasn’t done. He made two more accounts. On the last one, he said, “Please, I love you and we’re still family. We need each other. It doesn’t look like your mom will take me back.”
I didn’t hold back. I told him he didn’t deserve a family. I asked him why I’d want to meet a baby he made while cheating. I said he needed to accept that he lost me the second he cheated. Then I blocked him again — hopefully for the last time.
The Final Confrontation
That should’ve been the end of it. But then my uncle — my dad’s brother — got involved.
He said, “Your dad was a bad husband, but he’s a good dad. That should mean something.” He tried to guilt me, saying I had a little sister now whether I liked it or not, and I should think about being in her life.
Then came the classic guilt trip: “What if your dad died tomorrow?”
I told him I’d go on living my life. That answer didn’t go over well. He told me I was being “overly harsh.” I told him he was defending a man who destroyed his family.
He said, “Your dad didn’t physically hurt anyone.” I fired back that cheating can still do real damage. Not to mention he created a whole baby out of it — and now wants us to play house like nothing happened.
My uncle said the baby was innocent and “needed more family.” I told him I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to pretend the baby wasn’t a product of betrayal.
He accused me of being immature and said I should stay out of my parents’ relationship. But this isn’t just about them. It’s about the way my dad treated all of us — and I’m not playing nice just because there’s a kid involved.The Fallout
My dad is out of my life. The baby? I haven’t seen her. I don’t plan to.
My uncle thinks I’m cold. I think I’m setting boundaries.
What started as my dad’s betrayal of my mom has now become a full-blown family fracture. And the truth is, I don’t want to rebuild what he broke.
What Reddit Thinks
Most Redditors would likely side with the son and go with a NTA (Not the Ahole)** judgment — though some might express concern for the baby.
Sample responses:
- “NTA. You don’t owe anyone forgiveness, especially when he’s still trying to manipulate your mom.”
- “The baby is innocent, but your dad is not. You’re allowed to protect your peace.”
- “Honestly? I’d go no contact too. You’re doing what’s best for your mental health.”
A Final Thought
What do we owe to the people who betray us?
And when someone crosses a line that deep — is there ever a way back?
Would you have said yes to being in that baby’s life?