It doesn’t matter whether you’re a virgin or the next Bill Gates; we’ve all been there — standing in front of someone we’re interested in, looking for that particular sign they might be just as obsessed with Star Wars and D&D as we are. Maybe your heart rate speeds up when you spot them walking down the hall carrying X-Wing Miniatures or wearing an awesome t-shirt, but how do you find out whether they share your nerdy passion? As a geek, freak, and nerd at heart, why not check out the following real-world dating strategies for geeks that work.
6 Dating Tips For Geeks
You know what’s even more attractive than someone who has a job and might be able to support you? Someone with hobbies. And as it turns out, those people who spend time doing things they enjoy tend to be geeks. Here are some dating tips for geeks specifically designed to help you weed out the nerds from the non-nerds.
1. Communicate Effectively
When you’re looking for someone special, it’s always good to try and gauge their interests ahead of time by asking about them; but even if you think you know what they like, always be open to hearing where they come down on specific subjects or how they feel about things in general. By doing this, you’ll probably find that your interests and views of the world don’t always sync up. Not only does this help to weed out incompatible people, but it also helps both parties get a better feel for each other’s values and outlook on life, which can help establish compatibility in its own right. If you are in a cancer camp, you will need to learn how to communicate with a cancer man, for example, since he will not always think like you. The more comfortable you are talking with each other, the better your chances of creating a solid connection.
2. Geek Out With The Language
Do you know what’s pretty hot? A woman who can speak at least one foreign language. But you also know what’s even more desirable than that? Someone who speaks several languages. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that those people probably have to spend a lot of time studying, and the best way to find someone just as nerdy as you is by looking for them in places where they’ve got to study their ass off for tests. If your geek-dar is especially keen, you might even be able to pick out some of these geeks while they’re still in high school — although we don’t recommend trying it without their parents’ permission.
3. Don’t Treat Dating Like a Game
This is a tricky one because if you’ve read Geek And Gamer Dating: The Best Strategies For Finding Love, you already know we’re huge on playing “the game.” But when it comes to dating and love? You can’t win them all. If they don’t like your first impression of them was based on their profile (and if an online dating site created that first impression), ask yourself why you ignored the warning signs before making those judgments. One of the biggest lessons we can learn as gamers is not to jump into situations unprepared; that way, even if everything goes south, you’ll still have a good story to tell about how it all went down.
4. Don’t Be Scared To Be Different
When you’re in the position where you’re meeting potential dates, they’ll have to understand that your interests are already set. And if their interests are different from yours? That can be a good thing. Not only do opposites attract in real life, but even in terms of dating websites, it’s essential not to settle for someone who doesn’t share your passions. Chances are they won’t last long when compared with someone who has dedicated their weekends to attending conventions or playing tabletop games. Since it can be hard to judge the authenticity of someone’s geek interests via an online profile, if that’s extremely important to you, don’t be afraid to ask about it right upfront.
Whether you met them in person or in free online chatrooms, finding someone to share your geeky interests with is just like finding anyone else; you want to meet people, spend time together, find out what they’re into and try to establish compatibility.
5. Have A Geek Be-Gone Kit
There’s nothing wrong with trying to look your best on a first date, but don’t freak out if things aren’t going quite right. If you’re meeting someone for the first time and are getting not-so-subtle cues that they think you might be too “nerdy” or whatever other word they feel describes you accurately enough, make sure to bring along your geek Be-Gone Kit. This kit typically contains several different items, including something to cleanse their aura of any previous energy that previous occupants of the room may have left behind. Also, little labels note that this person is never allowed to touch your stuff again under penalty of banishment from all future squad meetings. And possibly some earplugs in case they continue to babble about how much more remarkable things were when they played D&D.
6. Don’t Try To Fake It
You may be tempted to try to pretend like you like specific geeky interests when really, you’d rather slap on some high heels and head out to the club or check into a sports bar for some beers with your buddies; but then again, that’s why we’re here talking about this subject in the first place. So, don’t try to fake it. The last thing you want is for your partner to find out that they can do much better than a big ‘ole fake-o who doesn’t share the same interests as them. Being open and honest is essential, especially if your date turns out not to share your interests (and it happens). If they feel like they’re being lied to or don’t see any of your true self the more time you spend together, it’s likely not going to work out.
Finding someone to share your geeky interests with is just like finding anyone else; you want to meet people, spend time together, find out what they’re into and try to establish compatibility. Being open about your interests at the start of a relationship can help avoid any future problems down the road if it turns out that you two aren’t on the same page. And who knows? If things go well, you might even meet someone special who shares so many of your experiences and hobbies that you feel like they were directly plucked out of your mind and brought forth into this world (and hopefully, vice versa).