A man asked his current wife to stop mocking his ex-wife’s weight—and now he’s being accused of still loving his ex.
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
The original poster (OP), a 45-year-old man, divorced his first wife, 47, a few years ago. Later, he remarried a younger woman, 29.
He describes himself as thin, but both his ex-wife and current wife are on the heavier side. He even admits he prefers women with more curves. Despite this, his current wife has repeatedly mocked his ex, calling her “fat” in a derogatory way.
The Moment Things Shifted
At first, OP brushed off the comments. But over time, he grew uncomfortable. His ex is not just his past partner—she’s the mother of his children and, by his account, a good person.
So, OP finally asked his wife to stop with the body-shaming remarks.
The Final Confrontation
Instead of taking his request to heart, his wife lashed out. She accused him of still being in love with his ex. OP insists that’s not the case—he loves his wife—but he doesn’t want to tolerate insults toward someone who still plays a central role in his family’s life.
The Fallout
Now OP feels stuck. His wife thinks he’s secretly hung up on his ex, and OP worries that setting this boundary might cause even deeper trust issues in his marriage.
What Reddit Thinks
Reddit would likely lean NTA (Not the Asshole) here, with some calling out the wife’s insecurity. Others might suggest OP explain his boundaries more gently.
Sample responses:
- “NTA. Asking for respect isn’t the same as being in love with your ex.”
- “Your wife’s insecurity is the problem, not your boundary.”
- “Body shaming is never okay. You did the right thing.”
A Final Thought
When a partner attacks someone from your past—especially the parent of your children—where should the line be drawn? Is defending basic respect the same as defending the person?