AITA for Not Hosting My Friend’s Baby Shower While I’m Still Recovering From Having a Baby?

She’s six weeks postpartum, surviving on four hours of sleep, and learning how to be a mom for the first time.
But now her friend is upset because she refused to host another baby-related event.
Is she being selfish — or just protecting her sanity?

She just had a baby. Hosting a party wasn’t part of the plan.

A new mom wrote into Reddit’s AITA forum with a dilemma only modern friendships can deliver:
Her friend wants her to host a baby shower… just six weeks after she gave birth herself.

“I had my first baby six weeks ago. I’m still healing, still hormonal, still exhausted. I can barely keep up with my newborn.”

But her friend Sarah, who’s due in a few months, didn’t see any issue with the timing.
In fact, she said it would be easier for the new mom to host the shower.

“She said I’ve already got baby stuff everywhere, a nice house, and I’m good at planning.”

In other words — you’re already living in chaos, what’s a few more balloons?

She said no — gently.

The new mom tried to explain that she simply wasn’t up for it.

“I told her kindly that I just don’t have the energy right now. I offered to help pay for a venue or suggested other friends.”

Seems reasonable, right?

Well, not to Sarah.

“She said I’m making excuses. That it’s ‘not that hard.’ And now she’s telling people I’m selfish because she threw me a bridal shower years ago.”

Now, the new mom feels guilty — and torn between boundaries and friendship debts.

What Reddit Thinks

Reddit was overwhelmingly clear: Absolutely, 100%, NTA.

Top comment:

“You’re six weeks postpartum. You don’t owe anyone a party — you owe yourself rest and recovery.”

Another pointed out:

“This is your fourth trimester. It’s not ‘just a gathering,’ it’s work. If she can’t see that, she’s not being a good friend.”

Some users shared personal stories of how intense those early postpartum weeks can be:

“At six weeks, I was crying over oatmeal. Hosting a party would’ve broken me.”

Others called out Sarah for the “you owe me because I hosted your shower” mentality:

“Throwing someone a bridal shower isn’t a down payment on future favors. You did it because you cared — not to cash it in later.”

So… is she really being selfish?

Hosting a baby shower might seem like a simple thing.
But doing anything extra when you’re sleep-deprived, stitched-up, and learning to keep a human alive is far from easy.

She didn’t ghost the friend. She didn’t shut her down cold.
She simply said: “I can’t right now.” And sometimes, that has to be enough.