The Situation That Started It All
A 17-year-old high school student shared her emotional story on Reddit’s “Am I The A–hole?” community. She lives with her 37-year-old mom and 19-year-old brother in a low-income area where finding jobs is tough.
Her brother works and uses their mom’s car to get to his job, while she’s still trying to finish school. Money has always been tight, and the family has relied heavily on government food assistance (SNAP).
But things got worse when their SNAP benefits were suddenly shut down.
When Mom Stopped Buying Food
After the shutdown, the mom asked her 19-year-old son for $100 to buy groceries for everyone. He refused, saying it wasn’t his responsibility. That’s when her mom made a shocking announcement:
“I’m not buying food anymore. You’re all grown. Everyone needs to buy their own.”
For the teen, this felt like a punch to the gut. She didn’t have a job, a car, or any way to earn money. How was she supposed to “buy her own food” when she was still a kid trying to graduate high school?
The Explosion: “Why Did You Even Have Kids?”
After hearing her mom’s words, she snapped. Years of bottled-up anger and guilt came pouring out. She told her mom:
“Why did you even have kids if you’re just going to hate us for existing?”
She went even further — saying if her mom truly regretted having kids, she should’ve never had them. She also pointed out that her brother, the one with income and a car, was being protected while she and the others suffered.
Her mom’s reply was even colder:
“I should have [never had you]. You’re grown. I already raised you.”
That sentence broke her. She admits what she said was harsh — but deep down, it came from years of emotional neglect and frustration.
The Aftermath: Silence and Regret
Now, things are tense at home. No one talks. There’s little food, and even less warmth. The daughter feels guilty for her words, but also can’t shake the belief that someone needed to speak up.
She wonders — was she really wrong, or just honest in a painful way?
What Reddit Thinks
The Reddit community was split — but many leaned toward NTA (Not The Asshole), understanding her frustration while still acknowledging the emotional damage.
Top-voted reactions included:
- “NTA. Your mom failed you. You’re still a kid. She’s the adult.”
- “Everyone sucks here. The words hurt, but I get where they came from.”
- “This is a heartbreaking situation. You need support, not guilt.”
Some pointed out that this isn’t really about who’s “the asshole” — it’s about a family struggling with poverty, exhaustion, and resentment.
A Deeper Look: The Cycle of Blame
This story isn’t just about food or money. It’s about the emotional scars that grow when parents treat their kids like burdens. Many commenters noted how common this dynamic is — when struggling parents vent their pain onto their children.
The teen’s outburst was cruel in words, but honest in feeling. When children are forced to survive in adult situations, they eventually break — and sometimes, that honesty hurts most.
A Final Thought
Parents often forget that love isn’t optional — even when life gets hard. And kids, no matter how old, still need safety and care.
So here’s the real question: If survival makes people forget empathy, who’s really to blame — the parent, the system, or the cycle itself?